Persona 4 Abridged Episode 3 Script
The following is the script for the third episode of Persona 4 Abridged, unedited from its original form. Some content may have been changed. Script Igor: Snooooore Margaret: (whispering angrily) Shhhhhh. He’s sleeping. Please. For the love of God. Don’t. Say. Anything. Igor: Snore noise EVERY DAY’S GREAT AT YOUR JUNES (sad music disappears when Chie appears) Chie: IS THAT A POKEMON? Yukiko: No, it’s a— Chie: MY FAVORITE POKEMON’S CHARMANDER! WHAT’S YOURS? Yukiko: My mom won’t let me play video games. I have to work all day. Chie: OH. CAN I HAVE YOUR DOG? Yukiko: … Chie: I’M CHIE. LET’S BE FRIENDS. Narrator: LATER THAT DAY Chie: Guys! Yukiko’s missing! Yosuke: Lost her again? Yu: Have you considered getting a leash? Yosuke: Tried calling her yet? Chie: Duh. Do you think I’m stupid? (short pause. Then she picks up her phone and dials Yukiko) Chie: Hello, is Yukiko there? Pizza man: NAH MAN ITS DOMINOS! Chie: Oh, well while we’re here. Yeah? Yeah. Everything please. Okay. You too. Buh bye. Yosuke: So is she safe? Chie: Eh, she wasn’t home. Yosuke: Can I ask you a favor? CHIE KICKS HIM Yosuke: Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? Kou: W’sup, Brosuke? You know what you need? Yosuke: aaa……… Kou: That’s right, bruh! To join the B-ball club! Yosuke: I dunno if that’s for me, dude. Kou: A’ight, I’m puttin’ you down as a maybe! AT JUNES Yosuke: Well she’s not here. Yu: Guys, the TV bit me again. Yosuke: Bad TV! BAD! Teddie: Sorry. Clerk: Can I… help you? Yosuke: You need to teach your TVs some manners! Clerk: Yeah, I’ll get on that. (to himself) what the fuck? (pause) Chie: GASP! What if the TV ate Yukiko?! Yosuke: You could be onto something! We should check our TV’s tonight! (Yu’s watching Tom and Jerry) Yukiko: Welcome to the pause Midnight Channel.(S’gotta sound inviting and positive) Shadow 1: Who let her on stage? Shadow 2: I don’t know. She just sort of walked in. Shadow 1: Eh, roll with it. I like where this is going. Yukiko: Okay ew. I’m only a sophomore. Shadow 1: More you say? Shadow 2: Boss, that wasn’t very funny. Shadow 1: I don’t pay you to laugh. Wait, what is she doing with that-- Yukiko: How about more of that camera in your ass? Shadow 1: OH MY GOD! (gross sound effects) Shadow 2: The ratings are sky-rocketing! Yosuke: Dude, did you see that?! Yu: Yeah, I know. Tom gets closer every time. Yosuke: What? Weather lady: We have a slight chance of japan today! Nanako: Eh, it’s another re-run. Yu: Uh. I’m gonna go now. Yosuke: Hey new kid. WATCH THIS! Yu: Okay, do you ever actually think? Like… at all? Yosuke: (Sword-licking noise) Ow! Cop: There are two armed teenager in the Junes Food Court. Requiring back-up. Bring weapons. Yosuke: (with lisp) WE’RE INNOCENT! Yu: Officer! Help! He’s trying to kill me! Adachi: And that’s when he told me never to bring weapons to a food court. I hope this taught you a valuable lesson. Yu: How long have you been talking? Chie: Yosuke! Narukami! Uh, other guy! Yukiko’s missing! Yu: Are you serious? Yosuke: Why do you think I brought swords? Adachi: Yukiko...? You know, that name sounds kind of familiar. Oh! Let me check my BOOK OF BASELESS ACCUSATIONS. Hm... Mitsuo Kubo, Taro Namatame, Mayumi Yamano, Shu Nakajima, Shuji Ikutsuki, *cough*Tohru Adachi*cough* Igor, and uh... oh! Here it is. Yukiko Amagi. She's one of our prime suspects for the murder of Miss Yamano and Saki. Chie: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! Yosuke: Chie, we're already in trouble with the cops. Please don't attack an officer. Dojima: What am I doing here and why am I yelling? Chie: Last time I ever blindly trust an officer. Let’s go see what’s on TV. Chie: So are you sure she’s in here? Teddie: Wait, you were following me? That’s not good. Yu: Now let’s think about this before we go barging i— Chie: FEEL THE RAW POWER OF STEAAAAK! Yosuke: She left while you were talking. Yu: I guess we should follow her in. Yosuke: Hey, I just found a treasure chest with boots in it. Shadow Chie: Hello there, Chie. Chie: YOU LOOK LIKE ME! Shadow Chie: I am you. Chie: Noooo, I’m pretty sure I’m me. Yosuke: Whoa, what’s goin’ on here? Yu: There are two Chies. Yosuke: But which is the real one? Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun. Yu: Iunno, probably the one with the undead eyes. Chie: Wait wait wait. You mean without, right? Shadow Chie: Does that count? That totally counts, right? Fuck it. I’m just transforming. Yu: Okay, what the fuck is that? Shadow Chie: It’s a banana. Yu: Why is it a banana? Shadow Chie: I represent all the fears and secrets Chie tries so desperately to hide. Chie: I’m not afraid of bananas. Yosuke: Wait a minute. Bananas? You watched Space Chimps, didn’t you? Chie: No! Shadow Chie: Good not great. Hiya! Yosuke: What do we do now?! Teddie: YOU HAVE A PERSONA! Igor: Snoooore. Margaret: Narukame. Pst. Narukame. You have the ability to use multiple personas based on the bonds you form with other people. Igor: (wake up noises) Margaret? Margaret: (whisper fast-ish) Oh shit I gotta go. Don’t forget. Personas. Bye. Igor: MARGARET, WHAT ARE YO— Yu: I SUMMON: PYRO JACK! Pyro Jack: Eeeh!! Jiraya: This is a hairy situation. Aa! Yu: Yosuke! Yosuke: Right! Yu/Yosuke: Persona! Jiraya/Pyro Jack: Various fighting noises Shadow Chie: AAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Yosuke: That was hot… get it? Funny, right? Yosuke: Sorry, sir. We’ve gotta take your kid. Kid: Daddy? Angry man: You can’t do that, you little shit! Yosuke: Don’t get mad at me. Company policy. Angry man: Hrmm…. Yosuke: Hey, dude. I just work here. Yu: So why’d we leave before saving Yukiko? Chie: Eh I got thirsty. Yu: We’re going back in, right? Chie: So here’s my dog! Isn’t it cute? Yu: Lovely. Chie: You know, I forget who took the picture… Taro: Reeeplay. Shadow Chie: I AM YOUR TRUE COLORS! Chie: My favorite color is steak! Yu: So… if that banana on your head was because you had watched Space Chimps… what was all that other stuff about? Chie: Oh, even my shadow self knows not to talk about that. Category:Persona 4 Abridged Category:P4A Scripts